My samples of Clinique Aromatics in White¹ were ordered from an eBay seller in Italy. As the weeks passed and I received no samples, I began to joke about ordering from an Italian. I pictured a beautiful young woman who had gotten her samples free from the Clinique counter at la Rinascente in Rome. She forgot all about my order till one night at cocktails (with her gorgeous boyfriend) she reached in her huge purse and found the samples: “Dio! L’Americano! Profumo! Clinique!” I imagined she looked up my address on her iPhone, made an envelope on the spot from a stiff paper napkin and tape, then wrote my address on it using her Gucci eye liner. On their way home, she had her beau stop his Vespa at what she thought was a mail box (the box was red, anyway) and tossed in my perfume. Only when she got home did she think: “Merda! Ho dimenticato il francobollo!!!!!” (that’s “S**t! I forgot the postage stamp!”)

Italians, please forgive my one-word sentences and clichés! (If I could switch countries with you tonight, I would!) Plus: the joke was on me. Though the parcel took six weeks to arrive, it, and the perfume inside, were delivered in pristine condition…

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