There have been some closet queens in the news recently, especially in the political arena, but none of them are “delicious.” I wonder — CAN a closet queen be delicious? Does Etat Libre d’Orange know what “closet queen” means? A “closet queen” is a gay man who pretends he’s not gay — he hides his homosexuality from everyone; he is repressed. Etat Libre d’Orange tries to make a closet queen seem romantic, mysterious and exciting. While most real-life closet queens are furtive and ashamed, Etat Libre d’Orange’s closet queen thinks “elegance is an armor” and he “excels in the art of concealing” (à la James Bond). Etat Libre d’Orange’s closet queen is “a master of pretence”, “a…seducer who never yields to anyone.” We are encouraged to believe we have something in common with the delicious closet queen: “we all have a secret side…an inner garden we cultivate to protect our most abiding passions.”
Sorry, just as I have a hard time relating to a closet queen in person I have a hard time relating to Delicious Closet Queen on my person…
Several years ago, on a warm, late-summer afternoon, I was walking my pug, Diego de Fontana, in his favorite park. As we crossed a small road to reach a meadow, a car full of college-age men slowed down and stopped. The driver stretched his arm out of the open car window, looked from me to Diego and back at me again, then pointed his index finger at Diego, and yelled: “Dude…inadequate!” 
