The 1980s are back. Not the economic boom or Duran Duran, but the shoulder pads, layered hair, and eel skin bags. Fresh from an evening of watching Dynasty, I spent time this afternoon rummaging through a trendy clothing resale shop, and I flipped past many a sequined blouse and whopper-bow-adorned formal. All that was missing were gashes of coral blush. It got me thinking: could perfume trends turn toward the ’80s? If not, what perfume trends are coming up?

At the counter with my loot, I asked the baby-faced cashier what he thought about perfume. He twirled his Magnum P.I. mustache (popular in these parts now) and said, “I don’t know. I don’t wear odors — no deodorant, nothing. I rely on pheromones.” The sledgehammer style of 1980s perfume won’t gain a lot of ground here.

Right now, perfumes with a silky wood base, or a clean musk and wood dry down, crowd department store shelves….

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No matter what our thought bubbles read, most of us know better than to stand in front of a painting by Jackson Pollock and say aloud, “I don’t know what the big deal is. So some guy splatters paint on canvas. That’s art?” Even if our attention wanders during the second half of a symphony concert, we still suspect the music has merit. Maybe we’re not accustomed to a couple of hours of Mahler, but we give it a fair try. Most of us would jump at the chance to try a sip of a Premier Cru Bordeaux, even if we weren’t 100% sure we could distinguish it from a supermarket Cab-Merlot blend. We assume we don’t know everything about every kind of art. We want to develop our senses.

On the other hand, many people who wouldn’t miss a Whitney Biennial will flatly say, “I don’t like perfume,” and it never even occurs to them they’ve shut out a whole realm of art. They’re slamming an entire sense. Perfume is the Rodney Dangerfield of the art world…

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