Every once in a while, a commenter will note that a particular whopper perfume “really blooms” in the heat. Someone might say, for instance, that Serge Lutens Chergui is great on a July afternoon. I’ve been skeptical. I figured the commenter probably has round-the-clock air conditioning and didn’t really have to deal with the smothering sillage. I’ve never been brave enough to try it myself.

Until last week. A heat wave descended on my hometown. In moderate Portland, “air conditioning” generally means setting up an air mattress in the basement and rolling down the car windows. I had taken the week off, so I didn’t even have the office’s chilled air as a refuge. It was the perfect opportunity to try wearing massive perfume in 90-plus degree temperatures.

Day one: Frédéric Malle Carnal Flower. As usual, for the first few minutes of wearing Carnal Flower, I swore I needed a half-gallon of it always at my disposal…

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