Flankers make me cranky*. When a flanker is bad, it debases the coinage of the original. I recently spoke with a perfume sales assistant who refused to believe I smelled so lovely because I was wearing Boucheron Jaïpur Saphir. This is because I was not wearing Boucheron Jaïpur Saphir. I was wearing plain ol’ Jaïpur and said so — only to be told: “There is no Just Jaïpur.” With the dizzying rate of flankerizing and discontinuation as well as misinformation from friendly and seemingly authoritative sources, what hope has the average person of keeping this stuff straight?

Almost as irritating to me as a flanker that fails to live up to its predecessor is the sequel that succeeds on completely different terms. Dior Poison’s second flanker, Hypnotic Poison, for example, is a creamy, girlish dream of a fragrance, reminiscent of such wholesome smells as suntan lotion and root beer floats. I’m sure it would have sold at least equally well under another name. Why force a family resemblance where there is none? The only reason I can think of that is consistent with my experience of the perfume industry and buying public is that flankers must be cheaper to make. Presumably Dior saves on the bottle design and less thinking was required all around from the marketing team…

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